A Peaceful Kind of Tired

A week ago, I had my ileostomy takedown surgery. I was so excited for this procedure. An exhausting prep day of a liquid diet and heavy antibiotics made me grateful for an earlier hospital arrival time. A quick procedure at 45 minutes on the table led to an extended recovery. This post experience was different than the last. I did not feel great. I was incredibly sleepy. I threw up. Yes, threw up. I made it all the way through cancer without doing that once and it happened now. I was mortified.

Going to the bathroom post this surgery is exhausting. I am so exhausted I don't even want to explain it. And I am tired of wondering every minute of every day if what I am experiencing is normal. So this morning, with a cool summer breeze blowing, as I sit with my dog watching the river slowly pass us by, and Wilder Woods singing me a song, I have decided to let it all go.

I made it. There is nothing else to do but heal, embrace this new version of myself that has emerged and snuggle into this glorious, peaceful kind of tired.