July 29, 2023
Yesterday marked one year since the malignant tumor in my rectum was discovered. A YEAR. My 42nd year to be exact. I remember in the following days as more scans were done and more specific diagnosis were made, my husband and I were told that the cancer was curable and that “a year from now, this will all be behind you.” And at the time I thought alright, no big deal, I will check all of these boxes, get rid of cancer, and carry on with life as normal.
Yesterday, David and I reclaimed the day. We went to lunch, the first time either one of us had dined in a restaurant in a year. And we laughed the afternoon away and closed the day with rounds of romantic thunderstorms.
Today, I am sitting in my kitchen, the sunlight streaming in, my dog sleeping next to me on the floor, and David is upstairs taking a shower. In two hours, we will hop in an Uber and go to Soldier Field to see Ed Sheeran, and I can hardly believe it. To the point that I am choking back tears (I don’t want to ruin my makeup) because I am overwhelmed by it all. They were right; it’s a year later and it is all behind me. I don’t have cancer anymore. There were so many moments when I thought this one would never come. Or it felt so far away. Or even unrealistic. Hell, three weeks ago I thought this moment would never come. But its here. And every treatment, every pill, every session, everything I sacrificed, everytime I put one foot in front of the other, got me to right now.
And it’s not carry on with life as normal. It’s carry on with life in a whole new way, with a whole new way to look at the world, with a whole new way to appreciate every taste, every smell, every sight, every sound, and every touch. Cancer changed me, my body carries the battle scars, but my spirit, my spirit has never been brighter and I feel like I have arrived at my castle on the hill.
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