November slid into December and I excitedly marked off chemo treatments four through eight. This time was a delicate dance, figuring out the right steps to execute a strong 4th quarter for work without out fatiguing my steadily changing body, how to make the most of the clothes in my closet that now hung excessively from my smaller frame, celebrating the holidays in a way that still captured the essence of the season, and trying new hair styles to hide the increased thinning of my hair.
Every morning, I committed to movement. Sometimes it was soft movements from the Calm app’s Daily Move. Other days it was a P.Volve video that was appropriate to my energy level. I began meditating to help quiet my mind and help me prioritize all that life was throwing at me. I savored the walks I took with my dog. It is imperative to keep moving, if only a little at a time, it helps ease the recovery.
I took great care in how I scheduled my days and made eating my second job. I took time for nourishing breakfasts and was thoughtful in what food I would pack to take to work. I found tons of recipes that appealed to my constantly changing appetite and my husband would execute them better than the Instagram blogger who came up with them in the first place.
The Cancer Diet Cookbook: A simple book with easy to make meals that support various symptoms throughout your treatment journey. I loved the recipes for lunches and snacks, two meals that I always struggle to put together and the recipes here are very satisfying. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. This is a paid link. https://amzn.to/41ryn6x
The Living Kitchen: This book features a chapter dedicated to just soups and I made several of the different broths during my radiation therapy. The Organic Chicken Broth, Phyto Broth, and Strong Bones Broth are delicious and provided nourishment without upsetting my digestive system As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. This is a paid link. https://amzn.to/3UZkslT
Juicing for Beginners: My favorite book of juicing recipes The benefits of fresh fruits and vegetables are endless and juicing is a proven way to get full servings of the nutrition they offer in an easy way. I began juicing at some point during my chemotherapy treatments. This book has served as a wonderful guide to 100 different juice recipes based on various benefits such as anti-cancer, brain health, and bone and blood health. It has made a difference in how I feel everyday, and my husband enjoys it too! As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. This is a paid link. https://amzn.to/3GWXWEg
My naturopath recommended that I eat paleo the day before and the day of chemo to potentially support the medications’ ability to target the cancer cells and reduce side effects like nausea and fatigue. So the day before and the day of, for the most part, I would avoid dairy and grains as well as the refined sugar that I was already trying to cut way down.
I took epsom salt baths and sat when I needed to be still and went to bed when I was tired. I really learned to listen to my body and gave it what it needed when it asked for it. My new favorite accessory were battery powered hand warmers that easily charged with the same cord I use for my iPhone. Hours of warmth for my hands that cramped with cold thanks to the oxaliplatin.
Hotdot Hand Warmers: Hand warmers to help alleviate cold sensitivity As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. This is a paid link. https://amzn.to/44YsGyc
I had chemo on December 21st and my husband and I celebrated Christmas quietly, just the two of us. We closed out the year with our traditional seafood New Year’s dinner and when the clock struck midnight, David and I were cuddled on the couch listening to some of our favorite music, toasting a year ahead that we hoped would hold the end of this cancer and allow us to savor life in a brand new way.
During chemo and especially during the holidays I did make the choice to drink wine. I love wine- the flavors, the notes, the aroma, the way it swirls in my oversized wine glass. I did not drink with chemo in my system and usually waited an entire week after chemo to have a glass or two. I love Dry Farm Wines, a company that sources sugar free, lower alcohol, non-toxic and organic wines from around the world.
In January, I missed another big work meeting. I was really beginning to feel like an outsider at work and struggled with trying to take everything in stride and act like all these sacrifices were no big deal.
After months of watching clumps of hair go down the shower drain, I made the decision to cut my hair. I figured it would give my hair an opportunity to adapt and come back even stronger, just like the rest of me. I remember my stylist asking me if I needed a moment prior to chopping it all off and boldly replying “Nope! I got this.” Despite the quick learning curve of how to style my new do and which products to use, it actually made my life a lot easier. My mornings got less complicated and I would be grateful for the short cut when surgery time would roll around.
On January 27th, I ecstatically showed up for my CT and MRI appointments. These scans would reveal the status of the cancer and whether or not I would need resection surgery. I was chatty with excitement and made friends with the other ladies in the imaging lounge, drinking barium, laughing and chatting as if we were old friends gathered at a bar for happy hour on a Friday evening while we were really waiting our turns to be scanned. Side note- my favorite barium flavor is Mixed Berry. My scans went smoothly and since it was late on a Friday, I did not expect to see results until early the next week.
On Saturday morning, I bravely left the house to have coffee at a local coffee shop with a good friend. I figured that since I only had one more chemo treatment left, I could risk a maskless Saturday morning. We sat and enjoyed lavender lattes, catching up and about an hour into our chat, my phone lit up with the results of my scans, something I was not expecting so quickly. I reviewed the CT…. Inconclusive, nothing detectable, please refer to MRI. As I glanced over the medial jargon of the MRI report, there it was: a shadow on my hip- potential metastized cancer. I tried not to panic, I leaped to my feet and we exited the cafe. I called my husband to tell him to cut his time at the gym short and come home. I began to leave messages with the after hours team to have my oncologist call me. After eight hours of barely breathing, she called me to report that she was concerned but not concerned. A metastasized cancer would be highly unlikely. But she did order a PET scan for thirteen days out.
I made the decision to not worry about this shadow detected by the MRI. I took the attitude that it was nothing (a very difficult thing to do) and celebrated the fact that February 1st was my last day of chemo. Based on the scans, my oncologist decided to skip the infusion of oxaliplatin and only send me home with the 5-FU for 46 hours. After being hooked up to Herbie one more time, my infusion team gathered round while I rang that damn bell. This part of the dance was over.
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